Every Indian Cousin Ever: You’ll Relate to All 8 Types!

From the topper to the gossip queen—meet the 8 Indian cousins we all have in our families. A hilarious look at sibling rivalry and desi family drama!

1. The Rank 1 Cousin Who Ruins Every Family Meet

This cousin sets the gold standard—and your parents’ expectations. From 98% marks to IIT, they’re always two steps ahead. Family WhatsApp groups worship them. Every wedding, your aunt starts with, “Dekha usne kya kiya?” You nod while planning your Netflix binge. You’ve secretly checked if they’re even real.

2. The Gossip HQ Cousin

Knows everything before it happens. “Did you hear Rhea broke up?” is their opening line. Weddings, funerals, even job interviews—they’ve got the scoop. They make family reunions feel like Page 3. If you want to know who’s dating whom, they’re the hotline.

3. The Meme Lord

This cousin never speaks—only sends memes. They’re your daily dose of laughter, sarcasm, and perfectly timed GIFs. They run 2-3 anonymous meme pages and flood the cousins’ group chat with “relatable” content. They’re our unofficial spokespersons for family chaos.

4. The London Return

Every sentence starts with, “In UK na…” They’ve forgotten Hindi, miss Indian food, and constantly compare chai with Earl Grey. But when it’s time for duty-free gifts, they’re suddenly your favorite cousin again.

5. The Entrepreneur of the Family

They’re always “launching” something—an app, a YouTube channel, or D2C pickles. Half the time you don’t understand what they do, but they talk in business buzzwords like “scale” and “synergy.” Their motto? “Corporate jobs are a trap, bro.”

6. The Party Animal

Snapchat, Instagram, and beer pong—this cousin brings Goa wherever they go. They arrive at family functions in sunglasses and leave early for a “friend’s thing.” Yet somehow, they never get scolded. Probably because they dance the best at weddings.

7. The Forever Single One (That’s You?)

Every family function, someone asks, “Koi mil gaya kya?” You awkwardly smile while dodging shaadi setups. They send you rishta photos and talk about bio-data as if it’s Tinder 2.0. Meanwhile, your cousin from point 1 is on their second child.

8. The Mysterious Vanisher

No one knows what this cousin is doing or where they are. They appear once a year, drop a philosophical one-liner, and vanish. Yet everyone respects them. Why? Because mystery + silence = family coolness.